Why Commitment Is More Romantic Than Passion
By: Betsy St. Amant Haddox
Above all, keep loving one another earnestly, since love covers a multitude of sins. - 1 Peter 4:8
Love has been creatively described many times over in songs, TV shows, novels, and movies throughout the years. There are pulsing heart eyes in cartoons, passionate kisses, the poetic description of soulful feelings between lovers. Unfortunately, all too often, most of what is being described is lust, or “love at first sight”, rather than true love as the Bible depicts it.
One element of love that certainly doesn’t “sell” as well as passion is commitment. Everyone wants to talk about the butterflies, the romance, the chemistry, and the magnetic attraction. No one is quite as eager to discuss the daily, somewhat “boring” ins and outs of choosing to come home to the same person every night after work. The same person you cook spaghetti next to and argue over whose turn it is to take out the trash or clean the toilet. The same person who drives too fast or too slow, who bites their nails or hums off-key or steals the covers.
But that’s also the same person who rubs your shoulders when you’re stressed after a long day and offers to cut the onions the way you like them or bring your favorite pizza home so you don’t have to cook. The same person who picks up your medicine from the drug store when you’re sick and knows your coffee order and turns up the radio when your favorite song comes on.
The same person who has seen you at your worst and chooses you just the same. To me, consistency is much more romantic than fluctuating, flirty feelings based on hormones and circumstances!
I think Peter would agree. He urges believers in 1 Peter 4:8 to “keep loving one another earnestly” (emphasis mine). The context of this passage isn’t geared to marriage, but it certainly includes the marriage relationships alongside other relationships in the church.
If it wasn’t incredibly easy to fall away, would Peter have encouraged us to keep loving?
Commitment doesn’t come naturally. We’re humans. We’re depraved. We’re sinners. Our fleshly reaction is to quit when things get hard. Unfortunately, the world views marriage in the same way—and Christians aren’t living a much better example. The divorce rate is high among professing believers, and this ought not to be so. Marriage on earth is an illustration of how Christ loves the Church—His Bride—and He doesn’t quit. He doesn’t give up on us when we grieve Him, cheat on Him with lesser lovers, and make idols of our possessions. Instead, He lovingly redeems us, calls us His own, and is coming back for His bride.
How can we love our spouses half-heartedly once we fully realize how much Jesus loves us? How much He’s forgiven us? How much He covers our sin with His love?
If your love for your spouse is waning, pray and ask the Holy Spirit to revive it for His glory. If it hasn’t waned, praise Him for that and ask Him to equip you both to keep the fires burning in His name. Then do something loving for your spouse today. Go the extra mile and demonstrate Christ-like love—regardless of the current status of the toilet seat! ::wink::
Betsy St. Amant Haddox is the author of fifteen inspirational romance novels and novellas. She resides in north Louisiana with her drummer of a hubby, two story-telling young daughters, a collection of Austen novels, and an impressive stash of pickle chips. Betsy has a B.A. in Communications and a deep-rooted passion for seeing women restored in Christ. When she's not composing her next book or trying to prove unicorns are real, Betsy can usually be found somewhere in the vicinity of a white-chocolate mocha. Visit her and see a list of books at http://www.betsystamant.com./
For More Great Resources for Christian Couples, Visit Crosswalk's Marriage Channel.